Ephesians 5:21-33

Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of his wife, just as Christ is head of the church, he himself the savior of the body. As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her, to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle, or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. So husbands should love their wives as they love their own bodies. He who loves his wife, loves himself. For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. 
For this reason, a man shall leave [his] father and [his] mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.  This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church. In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband.
(New American Bible)

Go ahead - click!  You know you want to know what I think about this!

Context: St. Paul is well aware that he is introducing a radical concept here. He models this section after similar household codes in Greco-Roman times that outlined the household relationships. Christianity was (correctly) appraised by some as a challenge to the social order by advocating equality. For this reason, Paul seeks to outline a hierarchical formula in Christian terms. It is fair to say that one might trace the beginning of the modern women's movement all the way back to Paul, who challenges men to lay down their lives for their wives.

Translation:  In Colossians 3, one finds a similar listing of the various duties of “inferiors” to their superiors, including the relationship of the slave to his master, and the child to the parent. Experts have noted many structural and verbal similarities between the two books in the original Greek.

Vocabulary:
to be subordinate: The Greek term here (hupotasso) has all of the connotations of our own English term. (Obedience to authority of some kind must be a universal linguistic concept.)

without spot or wrinkle: the connotation of the Greek spot (spilos) includes a defect or disgrace, and wrinkle (rhutis) especially references facial wrinkles.

holy and without blemish: this phrase is a referral back to the Old Testament concept of being chosen, and the chosen people of God.

respect: The Greek term (phobeo) is more directly translated as "fear", or, perhaps, awe and  reverence.

Meditation: Few married men in this day and age insist that their wives must obey them. At the same time, it is clear from the success of pop culture psychologists like Dr. Phil that relations between the sexes haven't evolved much past the original apple bite that broke the harmony of Eden.

The first lines of this scripture intrigue me, in juxtaposition with the last line. Essentially, Paul is pointing out that leaders endure a passion all their own.  As too many evangelical pastors have found out the hard way, he who exalts himself is humbled. Women have good reasons to fear that men don't know the depth of their own lusts, in the post-Hugh Hefner era.

We each belong to the Lord in varying degrees of justice and mercy. The mutual submission of married life is not a blind one, but entirely focused on the good God who needs us to be His hands and feet in the world. Leaders lead by example. If we wish others to submit (or respect), we must model our own submission (and honor) to God first, and to others in service second. It is indeed a mystery...but a very powerful tool to build the Kingdom. 

Discussion Questions:

1. Do you think St Paul had a realistic vision of the possibilities of married life? Why or Why not?

2. When St Paul instructs the father to "lay down his life" for the sake of the wife and the children, what does he mean? What are some concrete examples of this idea?

3. In an abusive or dysfunctional relationship, how does the injunction to "fear" one's husband translate? How would you encourage and strengthen a woman facing such evil?