Kristen: Tell me about your childhood.
Zoë: I’m the oldest of ten but I grew up as the oldest of nine, because number ten came along when I was 24. I was born in Halifax, Nova Scotia, then moved to New England for seven or eight years and then moved back. Most of my childhood memories are Nova Scotia – based.
 
Kristen: Did you enjoy being the oldest?
Zoë: I had a positive experience. My mother made sure I was not overburdened. I had my moody teenage years when I was trying to do my teenage things. I have a lot of traits of a typical oldest child, including being maternal and nurturing. I didn’t end up marrying until very late in my life and I don’t have any children yet – and that has been a big surprise.

(Click on Zoe's picture to learn more about life coaching, or click "Read more" to see the rest of our interview.)

Kristen: Was your family Catholic?
Zoë: I was raised in a culturally Catholic home. I made all my sacraments and went to church on Sundays up until I was about 14. My parents divorced when I was 18, but separated when I was 12. My mother didn’t drive and it was hard to get to church during those years.
 
Kristen: That had to be hard.
Zoë: Our story always sounds like our dad left our family. That’s not what happened. I have to say at the time it was not that difficult. My father was home very little and my mother was the main parent, so in a sense we had the same day to day life. As I look back on those years now, I see the effects of not having father in my life during my teenage years. My identity and self-confidence were very affected by the lack of a male presence.

My mom is an extremely intelligent woman. She was doing her masters in science when she had me and had to give her scholarship back. She wasn’t your usual woman with a big family, not crafty or overly domestic. She’s one of the most amazing women that I know. Because of her experience, her advice to me when I went to university and wanted to be an actress was to study something practical so that I could always have a job.
 
Kristen: I guess she wanted you to be able to take care of yourself.
Zoë: Yeah. You know, I depend on my husband for certain things and I am not careerist. But I just grew up with that idea. It’s important to be able to take care for yourself.
 
Kristen: When did the Church begin to play a larger role in your life?
Zoë : Basically while in university, I started to attend Mass  as a freshman and realized one day, “I don’t believe any of this stuff.” It was hypocritical– I didn’t know what was going on. I really wanted to know what the truth was… what is the meaning of my life? I was fascinated by those basic questions. I didn’t think the answer could be in the Catholic Church.

I read a lot of new age kind of stuff. A friend at the time was evangelizing me. He would get me to read things that were Christian and he eventually challenged me, “I don’t think you are interested in the truth. If you were, you would give Christianity a fair chance.” That woke me up.

Not long after that, I went on retreat and had an experience in confession. I hadn’t been to confession for years, and that led me to go back to Mass on Sundays and to start reading spiritual books on the faith.

It was an overwhelming experience of love and personal intimacy. That is another part of the experience of receiving Christ himself and the grace of faith. Mine was an intellectual as well as a heart-conversion. They went hand in hand, because I needed the intellectual conviction as well.
 
Kristen: Tell me about being a life coach.
Zoë : Coaching is a relatively new field. It focuses on personal growth and change. Like an athletic coach, a life coach helps an individual to step into the fullness of who they are and what they’re doing with even more enthusiasm and ability and skill. 

It is distinct from consulting and therapy. Years ago we had a lot more people who were built into our lives who played these helping roles... Now, we are in a culture where people are disconnected from roots and family – it is a culture of disconnection.
 
Kristen: Are your clients mostly young?
Zoë : No, they’re all ages. Most are women, but I do coach men too. There is less stigma attached to coaching than therapy for men.
 
Kristen: Do you find any common themes for the women who seek a coach?
Zoë : One of the things I see in women today is that they are challenged to keep so many balls in the air. We are in such a fast pace now, and women are looking for ways to get connected and to live a life that is meaningful and cohesive. You do it alone a lot of times, because you don’t have that community around you. The women who come to me often have a lot of fears. I am suspicious of someone who doesn’t think they have any fears. They probably are moving too fast to admit to them.
 
Kristen: How do you help your clients get past fears?
Zoë : I try to help clients understand that they actually have free will and that they are always making a choice. Sometimes that choice is to sit by the roadblock, or fear, or obstacle and not make any moves. That is a choice. When they understand that it is their choice to sit by it because they just are not ready to get up, that can also be empowerment.

We do have choices about a lot more than we think. We can choose how to approach or look at something, and the action we are going to take or not take. Fear of what might result from our choices can repel us. We need to see fear for what it is, the awareness that our choices have consequences. I try to find ways to help someone move through fear, and that is where faith really comes into play. It’s wonderful to coach someone who has faith.